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Beer and Loathing in Las Vegas by Dave Stark (Published in the October 1996 Brews and News) Greetings my fellow falcons and falconettes. As an expression of faith you have elected me your next Vice President and for that I thank you. To show my gratitude I have decided to give you all a gift. FREE BEER! (Well almost)... Here's the catch, you have to road trip to Las Vegas to pick it up. What am I talking about, you ask? Isn't beer already free in casinos? Well yes, but I'm here to tell you all casinos are not created equally. For this reason I have prepared a guide to the finer points of free beer in Las Vegas for all to enjoy next time you find yourself in the "city of sin". If you pay for a beer on your next trip to Vegas you are guilty of : A) an inability to read any further. B) getting way too drunk to remember my instructions. C) being independently wealthy and need to invite me with you! The first myth I must dispel is that Heineken is the best beer you can get in a casino. WRONG!!!! The next is that you have to play dollar slots in order to get a waitress to come by more often that twice a month. WRONG!!!! So fasten your seatbelt and get ready for some drinkin', Vegas style! Tip's for getting alot of beers … 1) While at video machines and slots (don't play slots if you can help it, the odds really suck) Follow a cocktail waitress around and when she stops to take an order, sit at a machine just in front of her route and flag her as she comes by. Look for empty service trays. That means they are on their way back to the bar and will be with you sooner than if they have to deliver a bunch of drinks first. Remember to tip her in an "out of the ordinary" way. I like to use real Kennedy dollars or an occasional two dollar bill. Dollar bill origami is another trick. The novelty of the tip will have her back wanting more and getting you more drinks. Ask the person next to you if they need a drink. If they say no, offer to load up their machine (5 coin max) if they will order a drink for you in addition to your own when the waitress comes by. 2) Play slowly The trick here is to wait, there is no law against slow playing while gambling. I try not to blow more than 2-3 dollars while waiting for a drink. If I do win a few bucks I set it aside. Sometimes I profit when I order a beer!!!! As soon as your drink arrives, LEAVE and seek out another empty trayed waitress to pray on.. 3) Never turn down a drink If the waitress comes around and you don't order a drink, I don't want to hear you bitchin about bad service. 4) Never use a change person to get coins If you use the mobile change vendors to exchange cash for coins you are giving up valuable beer without even trying. I highly recommend the first place you seek out at every casino is the quarter poker bar. (check them all out first, beer selections can be different at each bar within a single casino.) Many people do not know that for every roll of quarters you get for a 10 dollar bill (called a "buy in"), the casino will comp you a free drink! YES, it's that easy! Once you get your drink and sign the receipt you are free to hit the road. I then usually go right to a change booth and get my fresh roll of quarters converted back to a $10.00 bill to go run the process at the next poker bar! Sure it's a scam, but it works every time. The trick is to not gamble at the poker bar much. I give a machine 3 hands fully loaded to pay up or I'm outta there quick. On the Quality of your beer selection … All casinos have free beer but you must hunt to find gold in them there hills! Here are some key places to visit on your next trip. On the strip … We all probably know by now that the Holy Cow Brewery is a good place to stop for average pub grub and a nice selection of craft beers. For some it is a bit out of the way as it is on the north end of the strip near the Stardust. Beers are not free in the restaurant, but who said you had to stay in the restaurant. Venture out to the machines and get a free one and come back to the table. Take turns doing this and when your food arrives you all have a full, free, beer! A new addition that is well worth a visit is the Monte Carlo Pub and Brewery. It opened up in the Monte Carlo Hotel across the street from the Aladdin, just south of center strip. Right inside the door is a convenient quarter poker bar to get a free 24 ounce wheat glass of the beer of your choice. Their beers were all clean when we were there. "Las Vegas Light" was pleasant and refreshing but lacked character. (their "chick" beer) I recommend the nice and creamy porter and the red ale. For you hop heads the IPA is about 80-100 ibu's! They had a peach ale special that had too much syrup but satisfied the fruit beer drinkers I spoke to. They have a live band nightly who were smokin both nights we stopped by. The food was kinda pricy but portions were huge! A big menu offered plenty of variety beyond your typical pub slop. There are too many places that offer Heineken as their premiere import that I could puke! The skunky Heiny headache is not what I wanted so with my trusty companion (wife, Norma) I set out in search of the diamonds in the rough on the strip. Two noteworthy spots are Oshea's Casino and Treasure Island. Oshea's is a small place right next door to the imperial palace Hotel and Casino. They only have tap beer due to a bottle throwing fight on Cinco De Mayo of last year. That means kegs of Harp and Guinness are flowing! The poker bar served them in 12 ounce glasses and the floor waitresses used 10 ounce plastic cups. I preferred the glasses myself. Treasure Island was a score! Norma and I played nickel poker machines located right off the sports book for two hours on 5 dollars, each getting all the ice cold Anchor Steams we could drink! I suggest you buy in at the poker bar just inside and to the right of the main entrance. This will allow you to see all of the beers they have for you on the floor. When we saw Anchor, we knew we were home for a while! Las Vegas is a city that is overflowing with beer and Hard liquor because casinos get to write it off as a cost of doing business. (that's why they make you sign for it at the bar) Whatever you do don't get loaded and drive anywhere, the cops are very serious about locking you up for a long time when they catch you! Besides, every other car in this town is a cab. Be safe and have fun! Back to The Roost || Brew Recipes || Brews & News |
